Fifty shades of madness

My wife has always been a home body. She has two degrees in Biochemistry and graduated top 10% of her class. She is a great companion and the best cook a man could ask for. Which for me is a big plus because I love to eat. She did not want to work after we got married and I did not insist. Her parents initially thought I was the one who wanted her at home but they soon found out their daughter has her own mind and dances to the beat of her own drum. A strong dependable woman, my Ellis. My income was more than enough anyway and so, I was fine with her choice.

I always arrive at home at 5pm like clock work. I was a creature of habit. I always woke up at 5am for as long as I could remember, maybe it was from having a policeman has a father. He always woke me before he showered. My main chore during the week was to polish his black shoes. “Polish till I see my teeth in the reflection”. Which I wondered was never possible because his teeth were different shades of brown. Years of cigarette abuse had done its damage to his dentition.

Back to my wife. My beautiful wife! I always arrive home on time and so when I arrive at home and the familiar smell of various spices which wreck havoc to my salivary glands is missing, I know something is very wrong. I find her curled on her favorite arm chair deeply engrossed in a book. Book?! I try very hard to keep my voice steady. She knows I don’t snack.I always look forward to my meals. “Ambrose…you are back?”She dashes away to prepare my meal. Hours later I wake up with a start to find her reading the same book with her bedside lamp. I remember she didn’t sit with me during my meal earlier on in the day, I recall she has been reading the same book quite intently for a couple of days now. She has always been a studious one, so I wasn’t surprised she was reading but the way she hugged the book, close to her bosoms made me curious.

Fifty shades of grey. What  curious name I think when I see the back of the book. I notice she takes the book to the bathroom, kitchen,salon….’ Whenever I ask what the book is about, she responds with shrugs and gestures to imply its not important but what will lead Ellis to forget my meal was important to me. After she was done with the book, I decided to give it a go. I was surprised my church going, bible verse spewing wife was so taken in on the piece of literature. I asked her what the attraction was, she laughed and said everyone was reading it. By everyone she meant all her female friends, I assumed. So, you can imagine my shock when she told me my mother was actually the owner of the book she was reading. My mother? Reading fifty shades of grey? I picked my jaw off the ground where it fell and faced my plate of food.

 

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One comment

  1. itsmayurremember · March 14, 2016

    Haha the last line

    Like

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